Tori’s super awesome fun story time!
I auditioned for my first play as a female today. “The Vagina Monologues”! It was so fun! Got dressed up in a skirt, leggings, push up bra… still sporting my, “Hey Sailor” red fingernails and turquoise toes from watching The Rocky Horror Show last night (I went as Magenta). It was my first public outing alone. In Chinatown. Kinda’ seedy part of town, for those who do not know.
The audition went well. Got to see a couple old friends and meet a bunch of new people.
On a smoke break, I helped a conservative, former congresswoman find her mother. True. She gave me an odd look. Also true. Mom was across the street looking for the former congresswoman, because she thought she’d lost HER!
After the audition, I walked back to the car. While I kinda’ wish I had someone with me, I did not feel entirely unsafe. I actually took the long way back as it was nearing sunset and the light was perfect. I noticed a cop on the street, he didn’t give me stink eye or anything. Actually, this was not particularly odd, seeing a cop, as I had parked outside a police station.
I get to the car, and decide to grab some cash from my backpack, and hit the corner store so, I lock the door to the car and walk around the block again. As I get to the store, the same cop I had seen earlier is walking out of the store with a bag of Sun Chips. Still, not too odd.
I finish my shopping, get in the car and start driving home. On the way, I pass a cop car, parked in a spot near a park. The next time I check my mirror, the cop car is tailing me. I am reminded now that our registration lapsed at the end of last month.
At the next light, the cop gets in the left turn lane and I get in the right lane. The light is red. I am sitting next to the cop, smoking my cigarette and ashing out my window with my red-nailed hands.
The light turns green, and I pull away. The cop switches lanes, swoops in behind me, and turns on his lights. Fuck.
I pull into a grocery store parking lot and the cop blocks me in. He gets out of the car and walks to my window. SAME COP!!!
He informs me that I have an expired registration, (knew that) and a burned out taillight (news to me). I could be on my way if I would just show him my license.
I went pale, took a second to gather myself, looked at what I was wearing and said, “I’m sorry officer, this is really embarrassing. I just auditioned for a play. I don’t have any pockets and I do not have a purse. I left my wallet at home. You HAD to catch me in a skirt!”
He said it was no big deal, got my name, birthday and social and went back to his car. Five minutes later, he sent me on my way with a warning. And I didn’t even have to turn on the waterworks!
So, a part of me started to wonder, did this cop have a problem with me because of how I looked? After some thought, I decided he did not.
Here is what I think happened. The cop had noticed my car when it was parked in front of his station. He noticed me get in the car. He then remembered seeing me walk into the corner store, just like I remembered seeing him.
It was coincidence that he pulled behind me on the street. But when he got in the left turn lane, he looked into my window and saw me and my glossy red nails (WAY too red!). He put two and two together and realized I was driving the car with the expired plates. When he got behind me again he confirmed I was in that exact car, and I had a busted light to boot.
Anyhoo, it was certainly an interesting first solo, public outing to say the least.