Three Months of Estrogen

It really does not sound like a long time. Three months. In the grand scheme if things, it really isn’t. Yet… three months is a pretty long time to do something new. Quit smoking for three months. Don’t eat meat for three months. Spend three months at Walden Pond. Tour with a rock band for three months.

The fact is Hormone Replacement Therapy has been a paradigm shift. The older I get, the faster time generally seems to move but these last three months have moved by at a snail’s pace. This is a rather wonderful gift as I have time to stop and smell the roses… but, it does make my 2nd puberty move slowly so I am frequently reminded of how far I need to go and how long it will take.

Three months though. Wow! That feels like an accomplishment. If I look back to three months ago a LOT has changed. I have covered most of these things in other blog posts, and I feel I should probably give things more time before I cover them again. So, I will try to run through some things I have not yet discussed in detail. This post may not be too focused.

It is my birthday tomorrow, so I went shopping… alone. I am getting used to it. It is funny, if you walk into Victoria’s Secret dressed like a guy, and look around the whole store like it is the most normal thing in the world, nobody seems to notice… although nobody offered to help me either. Perhaps that is a good thing. I may have freaked if someone asked me if I needed any advice… I did want to get measured though… next time. I figure I should shave first next time as well.

Finally, my body hair is changing. It is becoming lighter, finer and much slower to grow. I think I need to get an epilator. Shaving my chest sucks… and boob stubble is the worst. Why is my chest hair growing thicker, darker and fuller than the rest of my body hair? I am really excited to epilate. I suspect the excitement will die the moment I feel that pain for the first time.

Head hair! Still mostly bald. I still really need a wig. BUT, I am growing a LOT of new hair. I have little blonde hairs popping up all over my scalp! My hairline has moved down my forehead about a centimeter. It used to be completely bare. Like I said, these hairs are fair and pretty fine… but from what I hear, that is the first sign of hair recovery. I have no clue how extensive this will be, but Hell, I will take anything!

I am starting to experiment with makeup. Frightening. I know. I have mixed feelings. I get self conscious in public, but I like the results I see. Less is more. Unfortunately, my beard shadow believes more is more.

Finally, my skin! OMG! It has completely changed. It is much softer and very dry (I thought women moisturized for vanity reasons). Also, it is becoming much more translucent, which I was warned by my doctor would happen. I see veins below the skin now that I never saw before. In general, it is starting to look and feel quite female. My face is changing too. It is slowly softening, and my cheeks are getting slightly fuller. The coolest thing? I am getting epic freckles on my cheeks. I think they are dare I say, cute? I think I dare. They are cute.

I am starting to see results in the mirror and that works wonders for my state of mind. I, for once in my life, am starting to enjoy noticing the person I see looking back at me in the mirror. I may never be pretty. I may never be a natural beauty. But by God, I am going to learn to like what I see.

Aloha,
Tori

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