Making Old Friends New Again

Coming out has changed many of my friendships. For the most part, a good friend remains a good friend and yet, I do not act the same as I did before transition. This causes my friendships and relationships to evolve. By telling people I am trans, I have opened the flood gates to my mind and personality. I am no longer hiding the biggest secret I have ever hidden and with that, I notice a bunch of other stuff is coming out of me as well.

Women are letting me into their club, and men are learning more about me than they ever knew or perhaps ever wanted to know. It is kinda’ fun.

So far, since I have started transition, nobody has been outright rude to my face about it. I realize, I really do not care what they say behind my back. Dwelling on the negative is what Tommy did. Now, there’s a new Sheriff in town.

The cat is out of the bag, and my outing is becoming viral. I encountered my first ever person who had been told about me before I told them. She was very chill. It was kind icings to not have to come out to someone close to me for a change.

My wife mentioned that word got back to her at one point. I guess someone asked her about my transition and neither my wife nor I knew how this person found out. It kind of rattled my wife. I explained to her, that it is not her friend’s fault that somebody else told her.

What has been a slow and meticulous rolling out is now taking a life of its own. Some people have asked why I am coming out now, as if to suggest I should wait until I am presenting full time before I do it. Well, perhaps that would have been a better approach. Who knows?

Once you are out, you can not go back in. I guess I know I am not ever going back to life on testosterone so, now is as good a time as any to come out. It gives people time to adjust while I too adjust.

I am remarkably proud of this transition. It is the greatest single thing I have ever done for myself. I know that is just something many people around me will never fully understand. Transition is a very selfish thing, but being selfish does not have to be a bad thing.

I am posting trans related things almost exclusively on this blog and on my Facebook profile. This is practice. A way to find and embrace my new voice.

I have no intent to hide my trans status any time soon if ever, even though I know that may cause conflict with some simple minded people. To complicate that, I also wonder if the day will come when I flip the switch from trans female to just female. It is a state of mind and right now, my mind is in transition.

Also, on a different note, I am really running low on hormones, and I can tell. I get another shot in a couple days. This will be five days of emotional surprises and swings. Lucky me!

Love to all the Valentines,
Tori

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